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Famous and Fucked

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If you could fuck anyone in the world, who would you choose?

“I fucked your Mom last night… in the ass. Again. She loved every second.”

I rolled my eyes. “You are one sick fuck, you know that?”

“Svoboda, Svoboda. Don’t put it in there. You’re too big!”

“My Mom would never say that. No woman would ever say that. I’ve seen you. You’re tiny.”

“Not in Famous and Fucked, I’m not. I’m enormous.” Svob made an action as though he was wanking a Giant Redwood which had sprouted from his lap.

“And I’m guessing you’re not a greasy fat slob in there?” I asked, nodding at the Oculus Rift S dangling from Svob’s leather recliner. “And you don’t smell like a radioactive skunk’s anal glands?”

“I’ll have you know that I’m the very picture of suave sophist-a-mi-cation.”

“Come-on, the AI not’s that good.”

“The AI is best of breed. Hooks directly into Amazon Rekognition for image analysis and scene settings, and Google’s DeepMind to…”

I yawned.

Hey! I’ve got access to the world’s best render farm. It means that I can fuck anyone, anywhere anytime anyhow.”

“That’s a lot of ‘Annie’s.”

Svoboda pulled a face. “You know how much people are willing to pay for this shit on the Dark Web? I’m making coin,” Svoboda said, gyrating his filthy tracksuit bottoms.

“You’re making me vomit.”

“I’m making a lot of celebrities do things that people want to see and do.”

“So why are you doing my Mom?”

“Data. The more presence people have got online, the more accurate the modelling is. Porn stars work best, obviously.”

“Obviously,” I said.

“And then celebrities – that’s what people want.”

“And my Mom…?”

“My test subject.”

“Why… and how?”

“Why? I’ve always had a thing for her,” Svoboda said, grabbing his crotch obscenely. “How? I tipped your Time Machine into the maw.”

I’m in there too?”

“Yeah. But fucking you would be… weird.”

“And fucking my Mom isn’t?”

“Fucking your Mom is great,” Svob said, wrenching himself free of his chair. “I need to go and see a man about a thing…”

“You’re going outside? Fuck. Must be bad. To be fair, you do look like shit.”

“Needs must,” Svoboda said, tapping his empty pill pouch. “If I don’t get some lid poppers, I might have to start sleeping again.”

“Svob. When did you last sleep?”

“Friday 13th.”


“You wanna come with?”

“Er, no thanks. It’s dangerous out there.”

“Nothing I can’t handle.”

Turns out Svoboda met something or someone he couldn’t handle in his search for cheap stims. The video of his murder turned up a few days later; just another victim of deliberate price undercutting in a violent monopoly.

I felt a little guilty, given what I was doing while my friend was busy getting himself murdered.


What do you want to do?

The yellow capitalised question hung in empty space.

I looked down at ‘my’ enormous virtual cock.

“Have sex with myself.”

A horrific vision of naked Svoboda flashed into existence and burnt itself into my brain.

“Cancel that. Cancel. Cancel!”

OK. So, in here I was Svoboda.

“Jayne Reid. I want to have sex with Jayne Reid.”

There were a lot of ‘Jayne Reid’s, but the menu system was completely intuitive, and I was able to narrow down the options with a few seconds of arm waving and finger pointing.

Then I was a looking at a timeline which was disturbingly familiar.

Holy fuck! It’s me, naked!

I selected Bubble Bath and there was VR me with my breasts poking up out of a sea of white bubbles, smiling up at the hard cock waving in my face.

As VR me sank to her knees and started confidently wanking and sucking that big old cock, I felt a vicious stab of arousal.

Things quickly started getting complicated, sensation-wise: rubbing my pussy while watching the VR version of me give my VR cock a deep, dirty blowjob was overloading.

I felt it all simultaneously.

“Svob’s right. This is fucking magic.” Not knowing how much time I had to ahem play with, I flicked through another menu and selected Doggie and Anal.

I imagined Amazon and Google’s data centres working overtime as I watched VR me seamlessly switch position and spread my firm, shapely buttocks.

I gasped as I saw my arsehole and winced / almost came as my swollen Redwood of a VR cock pressed against my arsehole and pushed inside.

My real arsehole twitched with a weird kind of neediness… and then emptiness.

“I can’t believe I’m doing this,” I murmured, as I manoeuvred myself so that I could stick a finger up my bum as I masturbated.

It was seriously addictive.

After working through all the options from Anal to Watersports, I switched the position to Woman Riding Cock and then set about making myself come. I sank deeper into Svob’s filthy chair, but it didn’t feel real - nothing felt real except the inutterable trance-like ecstasy when my real-world orgasm washed through my virtual world.


The police interview was bad. Inevitable, given that I was identified by the sex tape I had inadvertently created being uploaded of me having sex with the now-deceased Jakub Svoboda.

“My motive?” I asked.

“How’s about the fact he anally fucked your mom and uploaded the video of him doing that?”

I laughed. “He never fucked my Mom.” The police officer smiled nastily and span the laptop round so I could see the screen.

“It’s not real! It’s fake! It’s not me! It’s not her!”

Fortunately, a video of Jakub Svoboda being stabbed to death by a known crim emerged a few days later – not so fortunate for the known crim, of course.

By that point, everyone had seen ‘The Video’, and for a while, I was the hottest topic on planet Earth.

Wherever Svoboda now was, he thanked me for the vid by tipping a serious amount of coin into my account.

Every month.

Oh, and my Mom chose to become a porn star.

Dirty bitch.

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